


Tangled Up in Winding Weeds

by royal_chandler



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Female Leonard McCoy, Genderbending, Imported, LiveJournal, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 04:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2908700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royal_chandler/pseuds/royal_chandler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meeting Jim had been like drowning in an ocean after all the dry brittleness that had been the result of her marriage. Leah had become caught up in it, allowing herself to get used to the idea of having someone. Intended or not, Jim had tangled up Leah completely. The uprooting and rejection leaves behind a stinging pain, and Leah stumbles miserably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tangled Up in Winding Weeds

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published May 31, 2010 and the answer to [this](http://buckleup-meme.livejournal.com/5309.html?thread=103613#t103613) prompt at the [](http://buckleup-meme.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://buckleup-meme.livejournal.com/)**buckleup_meme**  
> 
> 
> Title from Marie Digby's "Unfold"

When Leah was a little girl, she loved to play in her mother’s garden. In springtime afternoons, she’d jump off of the bus that stopped at the end of her driveway, darting up the cemented hill when she saw her mother crouched with a shovel in hand. At often times, she’d run so fast, she’d trip over her own feet and a regen would have to meet her knees before the growing grass did.

The garden wrapped around the entire house, bordering the traditional home with Cherokee roses, daffodils, tulips and about a dozen other types of flora. The stunning blue cornflower had always been her favorite.

Never being average, Leah hadn’t been one for baking or dress-up or anything like that. Instead, she had found time better spent doing homework and discussing the thesis for her science projects with her father so it was always nice to have something to share with her mother.

For Leah, there was nothing like getting your fingers dirty in topsoil, feeling the earth slip down the palm of your hand as you sprinkle it over seeds. Leah always took pleasure in that sense of control and getting to see the start of something new. In fact the only part of the experience she didn’t was yanking out the weeds. She was smart, so she of course knew why they to be rid of but Leah’d found them strangely beautiful—the flaws and imperfections of a flower which shouldn’t be stripped away.

In retrospect, it made perfect sense that Leah would feel the same way when it came to Jim Kirk.

She just never expected that the ties would be so permanent and life-changing.

\---

She’s not one for clichés but yes, she checks, re-checks and takes the test a third time. All are conclusive, flashing ‘positive’ so much that Leah can do nothing but stare like a deer trapped in headlights.

Sat at her desk,—and to her credit—Leah holds her composure for all of about ten seconds before she becomes sick in the head.

“Well shit,” she grumbles after her second round of heaving, the cool porcelain against her cheek doing absolutely nothing for the fever she felt coming.

\---

After spending a week trying to think up scenarios, Leah finds that there is no perfect way to tell Jim that he’s going to be a father.

She tries over lunch, breaks in the quad, one day she even goes for it during a study session but transitioning from the history of Cardassia Prime to “Hey, Jim. Remember that night we met and fucked? Yeah? Good. ‘Cause it turns out that I’m knocked up.” doesn’t sound too plausible in Leah’s head. She can only _imagine_ the kid’s reaction.

It’s a Friday night when Jim shows up in her room with a wide smile, energy rampant and overwhelming. “Bones! Man, I don’t know about you but I am ready for this weekend to start. You, me and alcohol. What do you say?”

“I say no, Jim.” Leah replies simply, dropping onto her bed and lying down, wanting nothing more than a massage for her sore back. Jesus, fuck but she’s tired.

And he keeps on.

“Aww, c’mon, Bones. You could use it. I can tell. A hook-up wouldn’t hurt you either.”

“I’m not too much caught up on the dating scheme these days, Jim, so you’re gonna have to excuse me if I’m wrong but I’m assuming that pregnant divorcées aren’t quite a catch. Even in the crap lighting of that bar you love so much.”

The silence does _not_ leave Leah cold or anxious, nor does it drip like liquid lead in the pit of her stomach.

She’s not sure of how much time has passed when she rolls up to get a look at Jim.

He’s glued where he stands and blinks at her owlishly, mouth opening and shutting like a fish. Finally, he asks, “Is it mine?”

Leah hasn’t discussed the final weeks of her marriage with Jim so it’s a fair question. Thinking it better not to beat around the bush, Leah answers. “Yes.”

Jim nods, albeit with little motion. “Okay. Um, okay. I mean, you’re sure?”

He’s looks incredibly lost and young; the shift from his normal demeanor is unsettling. Leah’s half-tempted to wrap him in a hug because she knows exactly what’s going through him. She also knows that it’s probably the last thing he wants now. “Jim…”

“You’re a doctor. Right.” He pauses. “I um…I need time, Bones.”

Familiar waves of nausea build within her. Swallowing, Leah agrees. “I understand.” And as much as it hurts to say, her parents didn’t raise her to be selfish, so she adds with a rueful smile, “It’s okay to leave, Jim.”

Out given.

He leaves without another word.

\---

Granted, Leah hasn’t known Jim long but she thought that she knew him well enough. It surprises her when she hears that he’s left to Iowa, from his xenobiology lab partner of all people. She hates to admit it but she’s pissed at him, and the reason why scares her more than anything else. She’s pregnant but Leah’s dealing and it’s getting easier, day by day. It’s just that she’s without his friendship and before now, Leah had no idea as to how much she relied on it.

Meeting Jim had been like drowning in an ocean after all the dry brittleness that had been the result of her marriage. Leah had become caught up in it, allowing herself to get used to the idea of having someone. Intended or not, Jim had tangled up Leah completely. The uprooting and rejection leaves behind a stinging pain, and Leah stumbles miserably.

\---

“You’re back later than usual,” he says when Leah returns to her room after a grueling round at the campus hospital.

She takes off her messenger bag and coat, using the time to catch the breath that’s left her. Surveying him carefully, she starts, “Head-on collision on Piccadilly this afternoon, was in the OR for at least six hours. You look like shit.”

Carding fingers through his—uncharacteristically mussed—hair, Jim laughs lowly, nervously. The same one that occurs before he gets into trouble. “Yeah. I haven’t slept in a while—not since...” He trails off.

“Dammit, Jim! That was three days ago!” Leah chastises, not bothering to hide her disapproval.

She can’t help it because sometimes the kid is an idiot.

“I know. I just. Give me a second, okay?”

“Okay.”

“First of all, I’m sorry for running out of you, Bones.” Jim’s never lied to Leah but he states it in such a self-loathing way that there’s no doubting that he’s telling the truth. “I shouldn’t have done that and I’m sorry. Everything’s been changing so fast—you and enlisting and then you again and now you’re pregnant. I felt ambushed. Then I got to thinking about how you must feel and realized that I needed to be here more than I needed space. Not to make you out to be—oh fuck it. We’re both pretty co-dependent.” Softly, he continues. “I’m no good at this.”

Leah gives him a small smile, hopes that it’s reassuring. “Neither am I, Jim. I’m as shell-shocked as you are. However, I think that we can get through this together. As friends. I haven’t made any decisions yet. I’m the old-fashioned type so whatever I decide, I’d like for you to be involved.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

He moves a meter or so, allowing Leah to see her bed piled with shopping bags and Jim’s duffel. Groaning, Leah asks, “Jim, what did you do?”

“I went to Iowa to think and had some credits to get rid of. I bought Fint some friends,” Jim explains quickly.

Rolling her eyes, Leah wonders aloud. “Who the hell is Fint?”

He goes through his duffel and pulls out a stuffed toy elephant. Leah can see that it’s not brand new but it’s in fair condition. She watches Jim’s face color a light shade of red. “I got him for my third birthday. My mom said that I couldn’t pronounce the word elephant correctly so I conveniently shortened his name to Fint. I used to drag it with me everywhere. It’s stupid.”

Leah reaches out for the toy, its material flush under her hands. She gazes at it and then at Jim. “It’s sweet.” She rises to the tips of her toes and presses a kiss to his cheek, feels the upturn of his lips on her skin.

The barely-there touch reminds her of weeds that would curve toward her ankle when she was younger.

Pulling back, she gives him back Fint and gestures to herself. “I’m gross so I’m gonna take a shower. While I’m doing that, you should take this stuff off of my bed and maybe put it in the closet.” It comes out magnanimous but they both know better.

“You didn’t lose your bossy nature while I was gone,” Jim says. “I’ll get right to it. Chinese or pizza?”

“Pizza,” Leah tells him. She doesn’t notice how her hand immediately drifts to her midsection or how Jim’s eyes follow it. “I can’t stand the smell of Chinese right now.”

\---

 

 


End file.
